A FEW WORDS INTENDED TO LIFT A WRITER UP MADE A BIGGER IMPACT THAN ONE WOMAN EXPECTED.
Anne Clark is a writer from Iowa who has been part of a writing group for over nine years. She reached out recently to share an experience she’d had with a fellow group member. Her story is a beautiful testament to the benefits of lifting others up – and the joy it can bring us in return.
One of the women in my writer’s group had been going through a particularly difficult time. For months, she suffered from writer’s block and self doubt. It seemed like every week, she’d come in with a new project that was entirely different than the week before. She was constantly throwing her ideas away and changing direction. When it was time to share, she would often “pass,” and when she did share, she would begin by saying that she didn’t like what she’d written, so to please go easy on her.
Others in the group picked up on her growing insecurities, and everyone tried to be gentle. We’d pick out small things she could improve upon and things that showed potential. We’d offer ideas and encouraging nods and smiles.
At our weekly meeting last month, as the group was going around giving feedback, I decided to write a few private words to her. I wanted to go deeper, beyond what obviously wasn’t helping her, and tap into what I had to offer. I could feel the potential of the moment, and I decided to encourage her on a deeper level, to show her that I was there for her, and to offer my sincere support. As others struggled to pick out things that were worth praising in her new work, I quietly took out a piece of paper and began to write. I told her that I believed in her. I had heard beautiful poetry in her writing before, and I was certain I would again. I told her she has beauty inside her, and I thanked her for showing up each week. I said that I could picture the day when she comes to the group beaming with delight and smiling from ear to ear because she had just written something she loves. I could see it, and I knew it would happen soon. “I can hardly wait,” I wrote.
When it came to me, I folded up the piece of paper and handed it to her in silence. She gave me an uneasy smile and tucked the note into her purse without reading it. We continued around the circle, providing feedback and light criticism.
I didn’t see her read my note, and she left before I had a chance to talk to her. She didn’t come the next week.
But she was back the next week, and when it was time to share, she smiled, looked straight at me, and said, “I wrote this for Anne.” In the two weeks since we’d last seen her, she had written a children’s story! It was about a wise aunt who guides a little girl to follow her dreams. It was a lovely story, and the entire group was impressed. In fact, it was the best thing she’d written in a long time. We stopped “taking it easy on her” and instead gave her genuine recommendations for a few improvements. As others were talking, I sat back and felt the joy of having used my words to support her. See, I truly did believe in her, and now I was realizing the impact of having shared that with her!
Tonight, at the end of our meeting, she came up and handed me a note. I didn’t read it until I was in my car, and I am so glad because the tears wouldn’t stop. She told me that the note I had written was pinned above her computer, and she had read it more times than she could remember as she made her way out of the fog of doubt that had been consuming her. Knowing that someone believed in her and could see her potential helped her to believe in herself. It helped her step forward and write from her heart. She doesn’t know what she’s going to do with the children’s story (maybe nothing), but she needed to write it as a symbol of listening to wisdom and following her dreams. Writing it had helped her to find her way back. She ended by telling me that she can hardly wait to write her next piece.
I am overwhelmed that my words, given as a gift to lift her up, made such an impact. I am filled with gratitude that she took the words in and allowed them to lead her on a path of healing and discovery. And I know that what she writes next is going to be beautiful.
One little note – a few words written and shared with the intention of lifting her fellow writer up – made a deeper impact than Anne expected. In her authenticity and genuine desire to encourage and support a fellow writer, to reflect back the light that she could see, Anne made a difference. She provided the support a writer needed to re-center and step forward toward her dreams. And Anne, in turn, was lifted up by the knowledge that her words had made a difference.
A beautiful, big impact, indeed.